Greener grasses

The previous entry lists the insanity of my travels this past year. Exciting, sure, and definitely something I was looking forward to during those long, hard, lonely months of thesis writing, when I had my own little place in one of the most beautiful and good-livin towns in this continent. Back then, I was so ready to go - so ready to be out and about adventuring and not feeling locked in a miopic literature and a tiny studio, inside a bubble of a town. Now, well, I see - without any surprise - that in several moments of these wanderings I found myself longing for that studio, for that bubble, for that familiarity of home-ness. Not that I would gladly move back there, for what I had there is no longer, and what is there now is, it seems to me, a hazy brush that will smear itself away in the near future. And that is ok. In fact, that is more than ok, that is necessary, that is life rolling along.

I see the lush, green, plains of a future for me in the horizon. There is still a great traverse along the way, many months of preparation for what is to come. Months during which I must focus on a rest that I know I will not have in that quiet place further on, a rest that I will long for then, from the freedom I have now, even if this freedom feels, at times, like the freedom of a man falling the longest shaft into the bowels of the earth. I know it will be over in the blink of an eye, like the dreams of falling that end as soon as the eyes open up, and the same will happen to this liberty and liber-litigiousness of youth that I swim through now.

The fact the future is always on my mind is not necessarily a bad thing, a grass-is-greener story where I am not content where I am at. In fact, it is, for me, the recognition that "where I am at" is a movement, not a place, a movement towards something, somewhere, someone? It need not be a move-to-arrive, but it must be a movement, it need not be a move-to-find but a finding that continues unfolding, not a move-to-someone but - and here is what I want - a movement with someone, a dance, a stroll hand in hand towards this continuity of life.

And you know what is good about green grasses?

To roll down its hills

To picnic on its warmth

To fly frisbees over it

To play barefoot on its softness

To feel overwhelmed with awe at all the colors and shapes and life that are the green grasses

So, there is nothing wrong with searching on for greener grasses

That does not mean I am not already barefoot, rolling and picnic-ing!

;)

Milhas e milhas...

Se estivesse arrecadando milhas com a mesma companhia aerea, eu ja poderia visitar a China ainda esse ano! Veja a loucura de meu itinerario, des de quando fechei meu apartamento no Colorado:

Nova Iorque, Washington, Orlando, Sarasota, Brasilia, Entorno, Rio Grande do Sul, Brasilia, Entorno, Qosqo, vale do Urubamba, Puno, Titicaca, La Paz, Cochabamba, La Paz, Oruro, Uyuni, Potosi, Sucre, Santa Cruz, Brasilia, Cabo Frio, Sao Paulo, Cabo Frio, Brasilia, Miami, Orlando, Berkeley, Sarasota, Orlando, College Station (TX), Boulder, East Lansing....

...e amanha vou para Detroit, depois volto para Boulder, depois tentarei levar de carro algumas de minhas coisas para o lugar aonde escolherei para minha pos graduacao: California, Michigan ou Texas. Depois, curta passagen por Nova Iorque e retorno para Brasilia... mas em uma semana sigo para Sao Paulo, depois vou para Presidente Prudente, e talvez visitarei tambem o Parana...

Coisa louca, aproveito como posso essa liberdade de tempo idade familia emprego e tudo mais para ficar exausto de tanto viajar - !

De passagen, on my way

While I am travelling, I cannot always find time and a computer with which to write much now. Enquanto estou viajando, nem sempre encontro o tempo e computador com o qual escrever muito por agora. Thats why things will have to come up as in retrospect alongside the next few months. Por isso as coisas terao de se passar como se fossem retrospectivas ao longo dos proximos poucos meses. See, it would even be nice to just rewrite some of the stuff from one language to anotehr, since I know not all0yall understand portuguese. Veja, seria ate legal reescrever as coisas de uma lingua para a outra, afinal sei que nem todas oceis intendem bem ingles. But anyway,things have been great, I am so happy to see old friends and go to new places, much love.. Mas entao, as coisas aqui tem sido otimas, estou tao feliz em rever antigas amizades e ver novos lugares, com muito amor..

Deixar, seguir

It is time to leave Florida - I know not when I will come back. Longer and longer each time, perhaps, but I do not feel that I will ever lose the touch with this sandy sand bar or the people that have shared love on it with me. Wherever we are.

I will continue moving,

Soon it will be time to start anew and to reinvent the days and to set new sights on new grounds and new projects with new sounds - !

Peach Plum Pear

We speak in the store
I'm a sensitive bore
you seem markedly more
and I'm oozing suprise.

But it's late in the day
and you're well on your way
what was golden went gray
and I'm suddenly shy.

And the gathering floozies
afford to be choosy
and all sneezing darkly
in the dimming divide.

I have read the right books
to interpret your looks
you were knocking me down
with the palm of your eye.

Go Na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na

This was unlike the story
it was written to be
I was riding its back
when it used to ride me.

And we were galloping manic
to the mouth of the source
we were swallowing panic
in the face of its force.

And I am blue, I am blue, and unwell,
made me bolt like a horse.

ooh, Na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na

Now it's done.
Watch it go.
You've changed some.
Water run from the snow.

Am I so dear?
Do I run rare?
And you've changed some:
peach, plum, pear.

A Horse With No Name

On the first part of the journey,
I was looking at all the life.
There were plants and birds, and rocks and things,
There was sand and hills and rings.
The first thing I met, was a fly with a buzz,
And the sky, with no clouds.
The heat was hot, and the ground was dry,
But the air was full of sound.

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name,
It felt good to be out of the rain.
In the desert you can remember your name,
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain.
Laa, laa, la la la la, la la la, la, la.
Laa, laa, la la la la, la la la, la, la!

After two days, in the desert sun,
My skin began to turn red.
After three days, in the desert fun,
I was looking at a river bed.
And the story it told, of a river that flowed,
Made me sad to think it was dead.

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name,
It felt good to be out of the rain.
In the desert you can remember your name,
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain.
Laa laa, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la.
Laa laa, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la!

After nine days, I let the horse run free,
'Cause the desert had turned to sea.
There were plants and birds, and rocks and things,
There was sand and hills and rings.
The ocean is a desert, with its life underground,
And a perfect disguise above.
Under the cities lies, a heart made of ground,
But the humans will give no love.

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name,
It felt good to be out of the rain.
In the desert you can remember your name,
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain.

Laa laa, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la.
Laa laa, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la!
La la, laa, la la la la, la la la, la, la.
La la, laa, la la la la, la la la, la, la!
La, laa, la la la la, la la la, la, la.
La laa, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la!
La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la!
La la, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la!